Great Loss
by DoomHK
Summary: Ashley struggles with Shepard's death, and tries to lead a normal life knowing she'll never see him again.


_Obvious Legal stuff: Mass Effect and all related bits and pieces (characters, locations, events etc.) are property of and are owned by creator's BioWare and publisher Electronic Arts. _

_This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction. We'll just have to see how this goes.  
With that said, I hope you enjoy this (first) chapter._

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Shepard held Ashley in a tight embrace, squeezing her to ensure she wouldn't slip away. Ashley returned the sentiment, holding him equally as tight. She pressed her check against the maroon and white N7 that lay over his chest, and breathed deeply. She couldn't hear his heartbeat, but it gave her great comfort to know that it was there, every second beating for her.

Time stood still for the pair of them, as they stood together in the crumbling husk that was once the ship on which they previously served. Despite the peril of their current situation, the red lights flashing wildly and the piecing shrieks the Normandy made as it slowly came apart, Ashley felt completely safe. Nothing could harm her.

Reality came crashing down as a shard of metal fell from the ceiling and plummeted into the deck next to them and in front of the crippled door. Their only escape. Any further to the left and it would have crushed them as well. Ashley's face instantly changed from a content smile to an expression of horror. She was an alliance soldier, but she was used to working on solid ground, and no amount of training could have prepared her for being inside an exploding ship. Shepard grabbed the helmet he dropped onto the floor and put it on, the visor covering his grizzled features and brown stubble. She kissed the faceplate and mimicked Shepard, putting on her own helmet.

Realising they needed to get to the escape pods, and fast, the pair of them grabbed hold of the large metal column that blocked their escape. They groaned and panted as they attempted to pull it away from the door. No success, and the fires that were consuming the walls grew bigger, hotter and fiercer with each exertion they made

An explosion shook the Normandy violently, knocking components of the ship loose and the two soldiers to the floor. The column that blocked their path however, remained in place. Shepard swiftly clambered up and regained his composure, before pulling Ashley to her feet. She took another look at the seemingly immovable object that stood before them and sighed deeply.

"Shepard, that thing I said I'd tell you before Ilos..." she turned towards him and started, "I..."

"Ash, is this really the time?" Shepard angrily interrupted, keeping his body facing away from her and towards the door.

Ashley felt tears start to form inside her helmet. What was she doing? She hasn't cried in years.  
The thought of loosing Shepard now was too much for her to bear, and she broke down. She pressed her back against the closest wall and slid down to floor, weeping.

Amongst all the chaos, she thought back to all the missions she'd been on since Eden Prime, and how she had slowly fallen for the heroic commander that saved her life. She remembered how, despite being a soldier, he managed to show great acts of compassion, and how he was a friend and mentor to every member of his crew. From Liara to Garrus, Shepard befriended just about every species in the galaxy and yet... this incredible individual had fallen for her as well.

"Ash..." a faint voice cried. "Ashley!"

She took her hands off the front of her helmet to notice Shepard squatting next to her, his hand placed on her shoulder. He motioned over to the door with his head, and with good reason. Someone was pulling it up from the other side.

Two massive armoured hands forced the door up. It groaned and creaked as it rolled up, revealing the massive body of a Krogan on the other side. A smaller, more human body stood behind it.

Shepard slowly got to his feet and held out his hand, gesturing for Ashley to take it. Still teary-eyed, she grabbed his hand and pulled herself up, using the opportunity to throw herself into his arms again. He didn't resist, and they held each other briefly before the previously-immovable metal column was thrown effortlessly to the floor. Despite the fact that they could all die at any moment, and the many thoughts rushing through her head, she managed to crack a smile as Wrex stood in the doorway with Tali behind him.

Wrex chuckled heavily as Tali squeezed through the gap between the Gargantuan alien and the door frame.

"We never saw you two arrive at the escape pods!" Tali exclaimed. "As soon as we noticed you weren't there, we came back to find you!"

"Well, thanks" Shepard chuckled. "We've been trapped in this room since that ship landed it's first hit on us."

Wrex said nothing, and instead turned to climb the small set of stairs that lead to the escape pods. Tali was about to make another exclamation in her usual manner, but was interrupted by a voice over the comm.

"Mayday. Mayday. This is SSV Normandy!" Joker shouted out. "To any alliance ships..."  
Another explosion cut him off, and all communications died.

"Joker! He's still in the cockpit!" Shepard realised. "Ashley, get Tali to the escape pods and get out of here!"

Neither Ashley or Tali said anything for a few seconds as Shepard made his way to the door and up the stairs, but Ashley cried out. "Shepard wait! I..."

Tears were pouring down her cheeks and off the end of her chin as she broke down again. She wasn't used to crying this much, so she didn't know how to control it. Every fibre of her being wanted to run right after him and drag him to the escape pod, but she knew he wouldn't have it.

Shepard stopped on the stairs and turned towards her. "Ashley, please..." He paused for a second, before continuing up the stairs, faster than before. Before Ashley knew it, he was gone.

Using her years of training as an Alliance soldier, she managed to pull herself into a more manageable state after Shepard was out of sight. Ashley lead Tali to the escape pods as the Normandy fell apart around them. They ran the length of the ship, dodging collapsing bulkheads and avoiding fires that melted and burned the very floor they were walking on. When they rounded the corner to the pods, a few crewmen still hadn't turned up. Most of the pod alcoves were empty, but two pods remained. Ashley gestured towards the pod opening, and Tali rushed to climb inside.

Three more crew members rounded the same corner and ran towards Ashley's position at the opening. A woman at the back of the trio, looking heavily distressed, was falling behind. Ashley was about to move from her position to help as an explosion shook the deck and threw the woman to the floor with a crash. She lay motionless.

Ashley groaned to herself, before barking orders to the remaining crewmen, "Alright, everybody in! Go, go, go!"

Ashley climbed into the pod herself and secured herself in place by pulling the metal safety bar, similar to that of a theme park ride, over her shoulders. She pushed the large red button next to the opening and it slammed shut, sealing itself. Ashley looked around to see who she shared her pod with. She noticed she was mainly with the engineering staff. Tali, Engineer Adams, and a few other people she didn't know personally. Ashley also noticed Dr Chackwaz, the only non-engineer other than herself, sitting over the other side.

The entire group lurched to one side as the pod launched itself away from the Normandy and into space. Ashley felt the contents of her stomach rise, and then sink. She felt as if she was going to be sick.

Ashley looked through the glass panel that made up the centre of the hatch. She was horrified at what she saw. As she looked out into space, she saw the the crippled Normandy. Atmosphere was gushing out of massive holes in the hull, and fire covered the surface of the ship like a blanket.  
Just as she thought the sight couldn't get any worse, a strong yellow beam forced its way into the hull, and exited out of the other side. As the beam sliced the ship in half, it was consumed by a massive fiery explosion which scatted hull fragments in every direction.

Ash screamed as loud and as long as her lungs would allow, and then flung herself into Tali's shoulder. She felt the young Quarian's arm rest around the back of her neck and hold her tight. As the two young women held each other, Ashley could make out the sound of Tali's weeping. Neither of them said anything, and Ashley cried herself to sleep in Tali's embrace.

Ashley awoke in her bedroom, her arms wrapped around her bedsheet. Her eyes were damp, and her pillow was warm and moist. She had been crying in her sleep again.


End file.
